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Page numbers in parentheses are for the rereleased editions.
Warning: Spoilers for rerelease beyond this point.
“Jeremy Jason McCole is going to be endorsing The Sharing?” I asked in a wavering voice.
“Jeremy Jason McCole?” Cassie echoed in awestruck tones.
Jake shrugged. “Yeah, it’s too bad, but it’s not like anyone cares. He’s just some wimpy little actor. I mean, it’s not like he’s Michael Jordan....”
“...or Brett Favre,” Marco added.
<...or Wayne Gretzky,> Tobias offered.
<What is an actor?> Ax wondered.
“...or anyone else important,” Jake concluded. “He’s just an actor. I mean, he’s a dork.”
<What is a dork?> Ax asked.
<That hair!>Tobias said derisively.
“I love his hair,” Cassie said.
“Plus he’s even shorter than I am,” Marco said.
“The difference being that Jeremy Jason McCole is cute,” I said.
“He’s more than cute,” Cassie said. “He is the single cutest boy on the planet.”
“He’s in every magazine,” I said. “Teen, YM, Seventeen.”
“Wussy Weekly, Midget Monthly, The New Dork Times....” Marco added. He and Jake exchanged a high five.
I ignored Marco. I almost always do. Instead I made sure Jake was paying attention, and I said, “Jake, you’re not getting it. About half the girls in our school have a poster of Jeremy Jason McCole in their bedrooms or in their lockers, or both. He is the number one cute guy in the country. He has like twenty Web sites just about him. If he endorses The Sharing, it would be as if....” I looked to Cassie for help.
“As if the entire female cast of Baywatch endorsed something,” Cassie supplied.
“Yeah. Like that.”
Jake’s smile evaporated. “You’re saying this actor kid has that kind of influence?”
“He has that much power” Marco said. “He has Baywatch-level power?”
<Yasmine Bleeth power?> Tobias echoed.
<Bleeth?> Ax echoed. <Is that a word?>
<Now, this is an interesting human concept,> Ax said approvingly. <This hologram makes it almost appear that we are under the water.>
“Ax? It’s not a hologram,” Rachel said.
<Then...we are underwater? Protected only by badly made human plastic?>
“Yeah.”
<Why do you humans do things like this?>
“Ax and Marco are the computer brains. They go in. Ax as human, and Marco as himself.”
“So Marco won’t be human?” Rachel asked quickly, then laughed at her own joke.
“That was a good one,” Marco complimented her. “Fast, too.”
“Thank you.”
<Who is this Schwarzenegger?> Ax demanded. <I have heard Marco use his name before.>
“Ah-nuld?” Marco demanded. “Who iss Ah-nuld? Ah-nuld iss der man, zat’s who Ah-nuld iss.”
<What man?>
“The man,” Marco explained, explaining nothing.
“We can’t all morph the same mosquito,” Cassie said. “Only females suck blood. Males are useless.”
“Amen,” Rachel said, then laughed.
“So what’s that mosquito in your hand?” Marco demanded.
“Like I know?” Cassie said. “I don’t have a magnifying glass that good. And even if I did, how exactly do you tell a male from a female?”
“That’s easy,” Marco said. “The males think loud belching is funny and the females don’t.”
“Is there any chance we could just get on with this?” Prince Jake asked.
“Exactly, Rachel. Eggs-ACT-lee. Zactly. We arrived back at the precise moment when we were snatched away. We were all yanked away at the same moment, so naturally we all arrived back at the same moment. Yanked. Yanked is a strange word. Yank. Yank-kut.”
“Yeah,” Marco said. “That’s what’s strange: the word ‘yanked.’ Us turning into mosquitoes to suck some guys blood so we could morph into him and instead ending up in the middle of some war to control psychic yellow frogs, and oh, by the way, blowing up a small continent full of Yeerks, saving an entire species, then getting back here to find out Coma-man woke up from a mosquito bite delivered by a morphed alien-slash-deer-slash-scorpion-slash-four-eyed centaur, that’s all totally normal. That’s just an average day. Dear Diary: another boring average day, till someone said ‘yanked.’”
I recognized his tone. Sarcasm. It is a form of humor. So I laughed using mouth-sounds.
“Hah. Hah-hah. Hah. Hah.” I considered, then added, “Hah.”
Prince Jake, Cassie, Marco, Rachel, and Tobias, in his own human morph, all stared at me.
“What was that?” Rachel demanded.
“I laughed.”
“Don’t...don’t do that, Ax,” Prince Jake said. “It’s disturbing somehow.”
“Yes, Prince Jake.”
“Don’t call me prince.”
“I will call you ‘The Jake formerly known as Prince.’”
Marco made a horrified face. “Oh, no. Now he’s making jokes. Bad, bad jokes.”
“Actually that was my joke,” Prince Jake said stiffly. “Oh, fine. I get it. You can’t laugh at my jokes. Okay. Great. I don’t even care.”
I was an Andalite, all alone, far, far, from home. Far from my own people. Except that sometimes your own people are not just the ones who look like you. Sometimes the people who are your own can be very different from you.
“Can we eat cinnamon buns now?” I asked hopefully. “Bun-zuh?”
<Rachel?> Cassie cried. <Is that you?!>
<Of course, it’s me,> Rachel said, sounding as if the idea of her being some little dinosaur who’d just jumped off a cliff, grabbed a pair of giant leather-wing dinosaurs and landed on an alien force field was totally normal. <Who else would it be?>
We were all treated to the utterly bizarre sight of an osprey attempting to hug a dinosaur.
<I know this is kind of obvious,> Marco began, <but you’re both alive!>
<Of course,> Tobias said. <You think getting eaten by a Kronosaurus was going to kill us? Nah. Or being chased by a pack of Deinonychus?>
<What are you, Dinosaur-boy?> Marco asked.
<Now you know what I’ve been putting up with since yesterday,> Rachel said. <This-a-saurus and that-a-saurus. Tobias rattles them off like they were, I don’t know, like any normal person would rattle off the names of major clothing designers.>
<What do you call the morphs you’re in?> I asked.
<Deinonychus. And those flying reptiles there are Pteranodons,> Tobias said. <Am I the only person who ever played with dinosaurs when I was little?>
<Hey. There are buildings down there,> Rachel said. <What’s going on? We were being chased by these aliens who are ants but who can join together to form bodies and carry guns. He...or they...said they were the Nesk.>
Every eye turned to Ax. He sounded a little exasperated. <I don’t know. Never heard of them. We are millions of years in the past, you know. I cannot be expected to know every species in the history of the galaxy.>
<At least sixty-five million years in the past,> Tobias said. <Cretaceous Age. The last age of dinosaurs.>
Marco moaned. <Oh, man. Sixty-five million years! I thought it was just maybe six or seven million years. I was holding out hope that we’d find some primitive people. You know, like in that old movie Quest for Fire? Only the babe tribe, not the hairy tribe. There would be this primitive tribe and because of my superior knowledge I would become their ruler.>
<Your superior knowledge of what, Marco? Your superior knowledge of Spider-Man’s super powers?> Rachel asked scornfully. <You run into a tribe of Neanderthals, you’d end up being their pet monkey.>
Everyone laughed. Even Marco.
<Do you inhabit this continent?>
<Well...> Prince Jake said. <That’s kind of a long story. Um, Ax? You probably can explain better than I can.>
<Yes, Prince Jake. We are from the future,> I said.
<Hey, that’s a much better explanation than Jake could have come up with,> Marco said. <“We are from the future.” Thank goodness we have a brilliant alien Space-boy here who can explain things.>
<The future?> the Mercora said. <How far in the future?>
<A...a long, long way,> I responded.
<Not to get all technical or anything,> Marco said dryly.
“Marco,” I said, once I had demorphed. “You know you’re a toad?”
“Kiss me and I’ll become a prince,” he said without hesitation. “I’ll be the Prince Formerly Known As Toad. You know you want me. You can’t help it. After all, you’re a female and I’m...well, I’m me.”
“Yeah, that’s the real Marco,” I said dryly.
Cassie laughed. “Believe me, we all did the same kind of thing. I asked him to tell me what it was like when we morphed trout. Just to test his memory.”
“And I answered that it wasn’t bad except the cracker-crumb coating chafed a little and I was allergic to tarter sauce. Now can you all stop playing that game? I’m afraid I’ll miss a punch line and Rachel will morph to grizzly and eat me before I have a chance to say anything.”
<Hey, Ax-man, what’s up?>
<Up is the opposite of down. Although, of course, those terms are meaningless outside the context of a distinct, localized gravity field.>
<Ooookay.>
<Was that funny? I was attempting a joke.>
<Ah-hah! You see our might and tremble!>
“I see your might. Where’s your tremble?” Marco said.
The Helmacrons stared with their wobbly, marble eyes.
“Oh, no. We’re prisoners of creatures with no sense of humor,” Marco said.
<Say, Rachel, I got a joke for you,> I said.
<No you don’t,> she said.
I ignored the warning. <Two blonds are standing across the river from one another...>
<Hey,> Tobias interrupted. <Remember, I’m a blond, too. It may be dirty-blond, but it’s blond.>
<Yeah, for a couple of hours a week,> I said. <Anyway, the one blond calls out to the other blond, “How do I get to the other side?”>
<That is very funny, Marco,> Ax said brightly.
<I haven’t told the punch line yet, Ax,> I replied. <And the blond across the river calls back to her, “You ARE on the other side!”>
<That does it,> Rachel said. <Time for Plan B.>
<I’ve heard that one before,> Tobias said, unimpressed.
<I am afraid I do not understand,> Ax replied.
<Tobias, where exactly did you hear that joke before?> I demanded. <A sparrow, an owl, and you, hanging out and swapping stories?>
<Ax, do you have any idea where we are?> Jake asked.
<I believe we are heading north.>
<Still north?> Jake replied. <How much longer until we have to demorph?>
<About twenty minutes,> Ax replied. <Of your minutes,> he added, with what I swear was deliberate provocation.
Jake ran to snatch up some full-head masks. “I have Clinton, Gingrich, and a Teletubby. Dipsy, I think.”
“That’s not Dipsy,” Cassie corrected. “That’s Tinky Winky. Dipsy’s green and has the straight up thing. Tinky Winky’s the one with the triangle.”
<Who’s the little red one?> Marco wondered.
“Po,” Cassie said.
<Oh, yeah.>
“No offense,” Erek said, “but how on Earth have you people managed to avoid getting caught for this long?”
“Wasn’t it Journey to the Bottom of the Sea?” Marco asked.
“No, it was Voyage,” Jake confirmed.
“Journey sounds better,” Marco said.
Jake sighed. “Hey, time marches on, right? We’re in a hurry. What are you thinking, Cassie?”
“Calamari,” she said with a grin.
“Snails?” I said, frowning.
<I am not in favor of snails,> Ax said.
“Wait, that’s not—” Cassie said loudly.
<I had the misfortune to inadvertently eat one while feeding,> Ax continued. <I did not see it in time. I stepped on it and digested it.>
“You ate a snail through your hoof?” I asked. That picture temporarily replaced the image of me being squashed to the size of a Barbie doll on the ocean floor.
<Yes, and the meat portion was fine. However, once the snail’s body had been digested, the shell was very difficult to—>
“Ooookay, I think that’s probably enough about snails,” Jake said.
“Yeah, especially since calamari does not mean snail,” Cassie pointed out. “Escargot means snail. I was talking about—”
<I have an idea: Let’s all just stick to speaking English,> Tobias grumped.
“Squid!” Cassie yelled suddenly. The birds in the trees around us fell silent. So did we.
Until Tobias said, <Uh-uh. Calamari is octopus, not squid.>
“Oh. Who. CARES?” Cassie cried. “Squid. We can morph a giant squid! Giant squid dive really deep. And they have arms, so we could maybe get into the Pemalite ship.”
I met Marco’s gaze. “Why didn’t she just say that to begin with?”
“Could have saved a lot of time,” Marco agreed, playing along.
<What does any of this have to do with your Captain Nemo?> Ax wondered.
Cassie threw up her hands. “It’s a book. Journey to—”
“Ah HAH! It was Journey!”
“I mean Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea,” Cassie grated. “Captain Nemo was attacked by a giant squid.”
“Who won?” Marco asked.
“Wait a minute,” I said. “It wasn’t Journey or Voyage. It was 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Jules Verne.”
Cassie looked like she might strangle me. Then she said, “Oh yeah. Voyage was a TV show. They run it on the Sci-Fi channel.”
“I thought it was on Nick at Night,” Marco said.
At which point everyone started giggling.
“Someone call the Chee and tell them they’re doomed,” I said. “Their only hope is a collection of idiot kids, standing around in the woods debating cable channels.”
<Two of your hours and seven of your minutes,> Ax said.
“Ax, they are everyone’s hours and everyone’s minutes,” Marco said. “My hours are your hours. This is Earth. A minute is a minute!”
<Now we have two of your hours and six of your minutes,> Ax said dryly.
<You okay?>
<Yeah. Ax-man?>
<I am fine.>
<That was cool!> I said.
<Way cool!> Tobias agreed.
<Let’s never, ever do that again!> I said.
<Never. Ever.>
<Repetition of that activity would be a very bad idea.> Ax agreed.
<Igniting sticks of plant and paper?> Ax wondered. <Why is that such a serious offense?>
<Because cigarettes can kill you,> I answered. <That is, if a golden eagle or a case of coccidiosis doesn’t get you first.>
Rachel gave me a dirty look. “So not funny.”
“And because they become an addiction,” Cassie said.
“Like Marco and computer games,” Rachel added.
“Or Rachel and Calvin Klein clearance racks.” Marco shot her a sideways glance. She ignored him.
<Ah. Yes. As we say on the home world: “A test of will may lead to wisdom; a loss of will breeds but defeat.”>
“Hey, I saw that same thing in a fortune cookie once.”
“Well, then,” Marco said, “we just won’t get caught. We won’t let them see us. Or hear us. Or smell us...”
“Or will we?” Jake interrupted.
Everyone turned to look at him. “Look, on the way over I started thinking.”
“Had to happen sooner or later,” Marco said in a loud whisper.
“So, it’s like a volcano down there, with lava and everything,” Marco said. “How hot is that lava? You know, in case we fell in?”
“You’re not helping,” I told him, without raising my eyes from my feet. “Really not.”
<You do not have to worry about the lava, Cassie,> Ax comforted me.
“Thanks, Ax,” I answered.
<If you fell, I believe you would be incinerated before you hit the actual magma,> he continued.
<I remind everyone that we have been in morph for thirty of your minutes,> Ax said. <Dinner is scheduled to be served in twenty-five more of your minutes.>
<Ax?>
<Yes, Marco.>
<They’re everyone’s minutes, Ax. They’re not our minutes. They’re just minutes. Just minutes. Okay? We’re on Earth, you’re on Earth, they are everyone’s minutes.>
<Now we have been in morph for thirty-one of your minutes.>
<Okay. Demorph. Then let’s get ready for a fight. We go in hard and fast.>
<You mean Rachel-style?> Marco mocked.
<Yeah. Let’s do this Rachel-style.>
“Somebody grab me a Laa-Laa doll when we’re inside, okay?” Marco said. “I really like that little yellow one.”
I gave him a look. You know the one.
“What?” he said defensively. “I’ll send the manager a check tomorrow. Even though he’s a Yeerk. It’s not like I’m going to steal it or anything.”
“Uh, Marco, you do know Teletubbies are for preschoolers, right?” Cassie said.
<“Eh-oh, Laa-Laa,”> Ax said. <“Big hug.”>
<Okay, that does it, Ax,> Tobias grumbled. <We need to think about turning off your TV.>
“Ax,” Cassie said. “I think you have what is commonly known as a crush.”
<A what?>
“A feeling that makes it hard for you to see the truth, if the truth is unpleasant,” she explained.
“Yeah, you know, like the way Cassie can’t see that Jake is really just a pinhead,” Marco said.
Prince Jake threw a horse comb at Marco that Marco dodged. Marco and Prince Jake are best friends. This sort of behavior appears to be typical of male friendships.
“War is one thing,” Cassie said now. “Murder is another. What do we gain by helping Arbat and Aloth assassinate the visser?”
I spoke. <By Andalite custom, the murder of a family member must be avenged. Perhaps together, Arbat and Aloth and I can succeed where each of us alone has failed.>
“Sounds like a plan to me,” Rachel said.
“It’s a terrible plan. Don’t help him, Ax,” Cassie begged. “Alloran is still alive. Where there’s life there’s hope.”
“Great cliché,” Marco sneered.
<An Andalite warrior would rather die than serve as a Yeerk host,> I said.
<I guess it’s a live-free-or-die thing,> Tobias said quietly. He sat on a rail overhead.
“Well, it’s just cowardly,” Cassie insisted, putting her hands on her hips. “The easy way out. If you’re dead, you don’t have to fight for your freedom, do you?”
“Let’s get something to eat, man, I’m starved,” Rachel said.
“Anything but McDonald’s,” Tobias said.
“What, the mouse hunter is getting picky about burgers?” Marco said.
“No, that’s not it.”
Prince Jake raised an eyebrow. “Tobias? Is there something you need to tell me?”
Tobias shrugged. “Well, you know, I saw Yeerk reinforcements pouring into the Community Center so I knew you guys were in trouble, right?”
“Right. So you went for Gonrod.”
“Exactly. I asked him if we could burn through into the Yeerk pool. He said, ‘Maybe, but only at the thinnest point.’ Anyway, late as it was, even the night cleanup crew was gone...”
“No,” Prince Jake said. “You didn’t. You did not obliterate a McDonald’s.”
“Like it was never there,” Tobias said with a laugh. “The Yeerks will fill the hole before anyone realizes what’s down there underneath the ground, but if we want burgers, I’m thinking Burger King.”
<And don’t forget about the buffa-human,> Tobias said.
“That one’s easy,” Rachel said dismissively. “We just have to get rid of it.”
“But he’s already acquired human DNA,” I protested.
“So what? You’re saying if we kill it, it’s murder?” Rachel asked. “Come on, Cassie, it’s not a human any more than I’m a bear or you’re a wolf—”
“Or I’m a big monkey,” Marco added.
Silence.
“Okay, so maybe Cassie does have a point,” Jake said, obviously trying not to laugh.
“Nice,” Marco smirked. “Very nice, Prince Jake.”
<One minute we’re watching this whale the size of a FedEx truck dropping out of the sky and we’re thinking, Uh-oh, she’s not big enough to take down that helicopter and live through it—>
<You weren’t thinking it, you were screaming it,> Rachel said sweetly.
<Screeching like a bad set of brakes,> Jake teased.
<Emitting a loud and continual series of high-pitched shrieks similar to an unauthorized entry into a Dome ship air lock,> Ax added.
Silence.
<Well, it was an accurate comparison,> Ax said defensively.
<Yeah.> Marco giggled. <But it sure wasn’t funny, Ax-man,> he said, poking his sleek head up out of the water and giving one of those crazy, Flipperesque cackles.
<Your humor is highly overrated,> Ax muttered.
<It certainly is when Marco uses it,> Jake said.
<Anyway,> Marco said loudly, <here you are falling through the sky, and all of a sudden BOOM—>
“A gull got sucked into the helicopter’s engine. But that was nothing compared to the ant-Cassie that almost killed me back in the woods with its pincers.” I stopped. “The buffalo saved my life.”
<You had an aunt who tried to kill you with her pincers?> Rachel said, giving me a playful nudge. <Boy, and I thought Tobias’s family was bad.>
“Not that kind of an ant,” I said crossly.
<I know,> Rachel said. <Geez, where’s your sense of humor?>
<Probably caught back in the Dome ship’s air lock with Ax’s,> Marco muttered.
<Cassie, why don’t you morph to dolphin and let’s all get out of here,> Jake said, noticing my quaking. <I’m done with this day at the beach. How about you guys?>
<Your wish is my command, Prince Jake,> Marco said.
<Then I wish you’d be quiet,> Jake drawled.
<Ha-ha!> Ax said. <Ha!>
We all looked at him, amazed.
<That was, I believe, the appropriate response to human humor, correct?> he said calmly, then dove and, within seconds, had powered his sleek dolphin’s body up out of the water and high into the air.
<I quit,> Marco said, groaning. <If Ax is gonna “ha-ha” after all of Jake’s feeble jokes from now on, I swear I quit.>
But he wouldn’t and we knew it.
None of us would.
No matter how bad the odds.
Or the humor.
<He means he is surprised that we normal, healthy warriors risked our lives for a mere vecol.> He paused. Turned a stalk eye to me and added, <Or, as Marco says, someone who is “differently abled.”>
<Jeez, can’t we just get over this issue, please?> Rachel said. <It’s not like it’s Mertil’s fault he got injured. Or that he has an allergy or something. Man, I can name a few people I know who are perfectly healthy and a total waste of oxygen. In my opinion.>
<I’m down with that,> I murmered.
Mertil and Gafinilan remained silent.
<Ax,> Jake said. <You consider Gafinilan a hero of Andalite culture. Right?>
Ax nodded. One of his favorite adopted human gestures.
<Maybe the fact that he’s able to overlook physical imperfection is one of the reasons he’s a hero. What do you think?>
<Prince Jake, I think the reason Gafinilan is able to overlook his friend’s deformities is because he sees through the eyes of friendship. This is exceptional behavior. Under ordinary circumstances, in general Andalite society, it is simply not natural to show concern for a vecol.>
<So, friendship isn’t natural?> Rachel snapped. <It’s abnormal?>
<What is “normal,” anyway?> Cassie asked, rhetorically.
<The norm. The standard. The average,> I said.
Tobias glared. <Okay, I’m getting a complex over here. I’m a nothlit. A freak. Whatever. My best friend is an alien with blue fur. My girlfriend is human—when she isn’t in morph. How about we don’t talk about “normal” anymore. Or “average” or “natural.” Please.>
More weird silence. I, for one, was dying to hear what would happen next.
<Mertil-Iscar-Elmand,> Ax said. Respectfully. <It has been an honor to meet you. I will always remember you as you were.>
Well, it was a start.
<Maybe we should try to channel the Helmacron personality,> Tobias suggested. <They aren’t afraid of being small.>
<Maybe they think small is scary,> Cassie said.
<Then they’re going to be terrified of us.>
<Now what?>
<Let’s try to reason with them first,> Jake said.
<Oh, yeah.> I laughed. <That will work.>
<We don’t want them shooting Dracon beams if we can avoid it,> Jake said. <And Tobias, watch those blades.>
We marched forward until we were standing right beneath the Helmacrons. They paid us zero attention.
Jake addressed them. <Surrender now! Surrender, and we’ll let you live as our defiled beasts of burden. Resist us and—and we’ll sneeze in your general direction!>
<Very original,> Tobias whispered.
<You call that reasoning?>
<Reasoning Helmacron-style,> Jake explained.
<Perhaps our basic assumption is incorrect.>
<What assumption?> Tobias said. <You go into an airless environment, you suffocate. Where’s the big debate?>
<The bloodstream isn’t airless,> Cassie said. <Blood contains oxygen. The main purpose of blood is to carry oxygen around the body.>
“Yeah, but you’d have to be a fish to breathe it,” Jake argued.
<You’d need specialized lungs.>
“How do we know the Helmacrons aren’t fish?” I asked, knowing in a flash that we’d royally screwed up. “The Helmacron home world could be an aquarium somewhere in Iowa for all we know.”
<They walk on dry ground,> Tobias said.
“Maybe they’re, you know, those animals that can live in water and on land,” I suggested. “Like frogs. Or turtles.”
<Amphibians,> Cassie said.
<Or maybe they do not breathe at all,> Ax said.
“How can you be alive and not breathe?” I argued.
Ax blinked his main eyes at me. <Trees are alive and they do not actually breathe.>
“If Helmacrons don’t breathe, why do they have noses?” Jake.
<It is possible the organ has another use,> Ax said. <Although it is hard to imagine what it would be.>
“This from a boy who eats with his feet,” I said dryly.
<We’ve got to swim,> Jake said.
<Fine,> I agreed. <But which way?>
<Toward the heart,> Cassie said.
<Which is—?> I asked.
<Above the liver,> Cassie said.
<Who said you were directionally challenged?>
About a dozen tunnels went up to the left and up to the right. One tunnel seemed to go straight up.
<Eenie, meenie, minie, moe?> Ax said.
<You really have been on Earth too long,> I told him. <You’ll never fit in on the Andalite home world now.>
<I would miss Saturday morning cartoons,> Ax said.
“They’re here because of me.”
“No.” Yami’s grandfather touched my arm.
I looked down, startled.
He drew a sharp breath. His face twisted in pain, but his eyes stayed bright and alert.
“They’re here because they’re evil.” His voice was a low rasp. “You fight these creatures, yes?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“If you did not fight them, do you think they would leave us alone? Do you think they would stay away from this place and never hurt us? No. They would come. They would take our land, destroy our home. Our life would be gone forever. This I know.” He swallowed. “Do everything you can, and anything you must.” He closed his eyes. “I only wish I could help.”
I touched his cheek. “You already have,” I said.
He smiled at me. He’d been sitting with one hand wrapped around his Coke, and now he laid it flat on the table so that his fingertips were touching mine. He looked into my eyes. A little flip of hair fell down over his eyebrow. “Except you’re back now, Cassie. So we won. We definitely won.”
I turned his hand over and squeezed it. He squeezed back.
He glanced sideways at Rachel and Tobias, then leaned toward me and lowered his voice. “I was kind of hoping we could hang out. You know, to talk.”
“Talk?” Rachel rolled her eyes. “Puh-leez. He wants to give you a big, fat, sloppy kiss. You should’ve seen him. He was a total zombie the whole time you were gone.”
I smiled at Jake. “A zombie? Really?”
Jake shot Rachel a dirty look, then stared down at his french fries. “Depends on your definition of a zombie.”
“How’s this for a definition?” Tobias said. “Somebody who can’t eat, can’t sleep, spends every minute of the night and day searching the airport and all other known Yeerk hangouts, and can only utter one intelligible sentence: ‘I have to FIND HER.’”
Jake rolled his eyes. “Okay, so I was a zombie.”
<This thing is massive,> Cassie said. <It’s...it’s too big to be real.>
<It’s a Nimitz class. Biggest warships in the world. Built by Newport News Shipbuilding Company, out of Virginia.>
<Jake?> Rachel cocked the seagull’s head. <Do you have a life?>
“Ah, the glamorous life of a soldier,” Marco said, keeping an eye on the door.
<Not so much worse than the lives of some of the crew on board this carrier,> Tobias said. <Guys who work flight deck get hazardous duty pay on top of their regular sea pay.>
<You see, that’s what I’m saying,> Marco pressed. <What do we get for risking our butts? Nothing. Nada.>
<What about the satisfaction of knowing you’re protecting the freedom of all human beings?> Cassie asked.
<Huh. Well, there is that.>
“Okay, then answer this, Ellimist: Did I...did I make a difference? My life, and my...my death...was I worth it? Did my life really matter?”
“Yes. You were brave. You were strong. You were good. You mattered.”
“Yeah. Okay, then. Okay, then.”
A small strand of space-time went dark and coiled into nothingness.
<Call a little attention to myself, short-circuit the bio-zapper, and lead any and all pursuers toward the circus, where I can squeeze in among the other elephants and, in the confusion, demorph.>
“And then?”
<Then?> She swished her rope-thin tail.
Jake sighed. “Then mingle into the crowd, do not call attention to yourself, and wait patiently for the rest of us.”
“Wait patiently. Right.> She saluted him with her trunk. <I can do that.>
Marco looked at me. “She. Cannot. Do. That.”
<No,> I said. <Probably not.>
<Ready?> Jake eased the door open. <Just act like you belong.> He stepped into the hall.
Marco sauntered after him. <Famous last words.>
“Sara and Jordan are fine, Aunt Naomi,” Jake said, in his talking-to-psycho-relatives voice. “And so are you. Ax?” He raised his voice, but kept it calm. “Can you make sure Rachel’s sisters don’t go anywhere?”
Little girl giggles erupted from the living room.
<I have already made sure, Prince Jake. They think I am a “pokey man.” I have told them I am an Andalite and am actually quite swift, but they insist they need to train me.>
<ARE YOU INSANE?> Marco, of course.
<Yeah,> I said. <Aren’t you?>
“I assume we’ll be taking this buggy for a joyride.” Tobias had morphed into his human self. “If we can figure out how to start it.”
“What do you mean, if we can figure out how to start it? You happen to be sitting next to the Tank Commando master of the Hork-Bajir valley.”
“Right. Video-game expertise.” He glanced around at all the switches and levers. “So, what, we just rev it up and barrel off the side of the train?”
“Yeah. The train’s stopped. The ground’s almost level with the flatcar. Should be easy. I saw a tank crew do it on the History Channel.”
“Ah. Video games and cable. How reassuring.” He pulled a helmet from a hook on the side of the turret. “I should probably wear this.”
<What I’d really like to know is, who thought up this leg/tail arrangement?> He waddled between two fiberglass trees. <Look at my butt.>
<Uh, thanks, Tobias. I think I’ll pass.>
<Seriously,> he said. <I’m sure it’s great for swimming, having the motor in the rear like that, but walking? My legs are so far apart my whole back end bobs up and down every time I take a step. Up and down. Side to side. Like a...like a...>
<Like a duck?>
<Yeah. It’s humiliating.> He swept a wing over his flat duck bill. <And this is just wrong.>
I thumped my feet on the floor. “Uh-ur-ulph.”
Tobias turned. <Did you say something, Marco?>
“Uh-ur-ulph. UH. UR. ULPH!”
Ax looked at me. Tilted his head. <I believe Marco is trying to tell us that while he is extremely happy to see us, he enjoys being trussed up, and could we please not remove the filthy satchel from his mouth, as he finds it quite tasty.>
Oh, good. Ax picks now to finally get human sarcasm.
<Yeah.> Tobias nodded. <That’s what I though he said.>
“Marco’s mother was host to the former Visser One. It must have been horrible. But the former Visser One was one Yeerk. The current Visser One is one Yeerk.”
<He is the Yeerks’ leader on this planet,> I replied.
“It still doesn’t mean he represents each and every Yeerk,” Cassie insisted. “Humans have had some pretty evil leaders, too. Thousands, sometimes millions of people have followed those leaders, sometimes willingly, sometimes not. Sometimes because they were just too afraid to say no. What if some other species decided to wipe out the human race based on the existence of a few powerful people? What if that species decided all humans were cruel, based on the actions of a handful of sociopaths?”
“So, who’s going to key the detonator?”
“Coin toss,” Cassie said quickly.
<What?>
“It’s the way we make most major decisions,“ Marco said dryly. “First, you choose heads or tails. Then you toss a coin. Whatever side is faceup when the coin lands is winner.”
The procedure was simple enough. But I could not help but think if this was the methodology by which humans made most of their major decisions.... Well, it explained much.
I said, “Cassie, you guessed that letting Tom take the morphing cube might weaken rather than strengthen the Yeerks. You guessed that Ax was...” I stifled the most bitter that came to mind. “...conflicted. I’ll back your guess any day of the week.”
“I think he means he’s sorry he doubted you and treated you like crap,” Rachel said archly.
“Yeah. That’s exactly what I mean. Come on, Cassie, show me where to go next.”
I took her in my arms. The anaconda’s habitat was probably not the most romantic place on Earth, but it felt safe. “You know I love you.”
“I love you, too, Jake,” she said, and put her head on my shoulder.
“I guess if we win, if we survive, maybe we should, you know, get married and all. I mean, eventually. I know we’re young, but man, we’ve been through enough that it should count for a few extra years, shouldn’t it?”
I don’t know what I expected her answer to be, but I didn’t expect her to start crying. And not tears of joy, either.
“I would like that...eventually,” she said.
“But. But what?”
She sighed. “But, Jake, what are you going to be? What are you going to do?”
“Guess I thought I’d go to college,” I said.
“And study what, Jake? Me, I’ll go to college, I’ll become a doctor. I’ll never forget what’s happened, I’ll never even try, but I’ll be able to slip back into a normal life. But you, Jake?”
I shrugged and released her and stood away a bit. “I’m not Rachel, you know. I didn’t fall in love with the fight. I don’t need it like she does. I do it, I try and do it well, but it’s just a job, a duty.” I tried to make a joke out of it. “I mean, what do you think? The Pentagon is going to call me and make me Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff? I’m not even old enough to enlist as a private.”
She didn’t laugh. She just looked at me.
“Look, Cassie, when this is over I’ll be done with it forever. I’ll go back to school, get an education, go to basketball games, get a driver’s license, go to college, figure out what it is I really want to do. And be with you. You and me.”
She forced a smile. “A year after it ends, if it ends, if we win, a year afterward if you want to be with me, we’ll talk about that again, okay?”
“I have to wait a year? Kind of harsh, isn’t it?”
“Hey, if we get married, Marco isn’t going to live with us, is he?” Cassie said, trying her best to jolly us both out of our dark moods.
It didn’t work.
I wanted so much to live. I wanted so much to stay and not to leave. In a moment no answer would matter to me, but just the same, I wanted to know what I guess any dying person wants to know.
“Answer this, Ellimist: Did I...did I make a difference? My life, and my...my death...was I worth it? Did my life really matter?”
“Yes,” he said. “You were brave. You were strong. You were good. You mattered.”
“Yeah. Okay, then. Okay, then.”
“It gives you a different perspective,” I said. “I mean, I’ve often wondered if allowing someone to morph to dolphin or falcon or whatever might not be a good way to let them put the little stuff in perspective.”
“Morph therapy? I think I feel another best-selling book coming on. Oh, man, Oprah would eat that up. And you know the Andalites are saying now they may make morphing technology more widely available on Earth.”
I frowned. “Really? Why?”
“They want a Krispy Kreme franchise back on the home world. You have a fair number of Andalites who possess a human morph now, all back home after their tour on Earth. Still looking for a donut.”
The idea was so absurd I had to laugh. “We’re going to trade donuts for morphing technology?”
Marco and I sat there in silent enjoyment for a moment, sipping our Oranginas.
“Well, if it isn’t Lobster Boy.”
<Hey, Jake. Remember this morph?>
“Uh-huh. Some reason why you’re morphing to lobster?”
<Ummmm...I dropped my keys down in the pool? I was going to go get them?>
“Well, then it’s a good thing you have the ability to turn into a lobster, because otherwise, what would you do? I mean, normal people, they drop their keys in the pool, they’re just totally helpless. Those keys stay down there. Forever.”
I stopped the morph before I lost my eyes and began to reverse it. As soon as I had a mouth I said, “You seem perky, today. You want something to drink?”
“What are you going to do, morph a cow and squeeze me out a glass of two percent?”
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All pictures and books copyrighted by Scholastic, Inc. Books by K.A. Applegate, and pictures by David B. Mattingly.
