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<Marco>
Page numbers in parentheses are for the rereleased editions.
About Marco
- “Boy, if Marco’s the sensible one, we’re all in serious trouble.” ~ Rachel, Book #3 pg. 16
- “You grind my nerves sometimes, Marco, always joking the way you do. But keep it up, okay? We need a sense of humor.” ~ Rachel, Book #5 pg. 98
- Warning: Spoilers for rerelease from this point until the By Marco section.
- “Marco, why are you screaming? It hurts my head.” ~ Ax, MM#1 pg. 196
- “Don’t worry. I don’t look down on you for being short, Marco. I look down on you just for being you.” ~ Rachel, Book #9 pg. 22
- “It’s when Cassie isn’t talking about animals and Marco and Rachel aren’t teasing each other that you have to worry.” ~ Jake, Book #11 pg. 112
- “When you start taking advice from Marco, the end of civilization is very near.” ~ Rachel, Book #12 pg. 9
- “Marco, you should never be singing anything. I’ve heard you sing.” ~ Rachel, Book #13 pg. 111
- “Somehow you are grinding my nerves, Ax. And that’s supposed to be Marco’s job.” ~ Rachel, Book #14 pg. 121
- “Can someone interpret from Marco-babble to normal language?” ~ Tobias, Book #14 pg. 26
- “And that’s when I dumped a bucket of water on Marco’s head and we all went home.” ~ Cassie, Book #14 pg. 166
- “Be sure and leave your brain to science when you die, Marco. After all, they’re the ones with the microscopes it’d take to find it.” ~ Rachel, Book #16 pg. 70
- “Marco, Marco, Marco. You do like to cling to your pathetic little dreams, don’t you?” ~ Rachel, Book #17 pg. 10
- “They think we’re intelligent. So, Marco, keep quiet. We don’t want them to learn the truth.” ~ Rachel, MM#2 pg. 152
- “Marco is Urkel.” ~ Rachel, Book #23 pg. 117
By Marco
- “Not Fantastic Four. I’m thinking more an X-Men kind of thing. It’s not about being identical, it’s just about having some style. Right now, if anyone saw us, they wouldn’t think ‘Oh, cool, superheroes,’ they’d think ‘Man, those people do not know how to dress.’” ~ Book #2 pg. 114
- “Yes, but I really, really want it to be a comic book. See, in a comic book the heroes don’t get killed. I mean, okay, they killed Spiderman that time, but it was only temporary.” ~ Book #2 pg. 114
- (Rerelease Version: “Yes, but I really, really want it to be a comic book. See, in a comic book the heroes don’t get killed. I mean, okay, they get killed, but usually not the big ones, or it's only temporary.” ~ Book #2 pg. 114)
- “Are you INSANE?!!” ~ Book #3 pg. 14
- “We aren’t supposed to be rescuing animals. We’re supposed to be rescuing the entire human race from being enslaved by the Yeerks.” ~ Book #3 pg. 15
- “Since all of you guys think you have to save the world, and since you’re all my friends, more or less, I figure someone has to keep you from being total idiots.” ~ Book #3 pg. 15
- “Don’t say the word ‘cage’ around Tobias. He’ll do some guerrilla-commando-Ninja-SWAT-team-hawk-from-hell attack on the Center. And he’ll talk Rachel into stomping your house flat.” ~ Book #3 pg. 17 (In the rereleased version, "ninja" is not capitalized.)
- “Why is it our job to get killed?” ~ Book #3 pg. 28
- “So why should I get killed for strangers? We can’t stay lucky forever. Don’t you people understand that? Sooner or later, we’ll slip up. Sooner or later we’ll be standing around here crying because Jake or Rachel or Cassie or Tobias is gone.” ~ Book #3 pg. 28
- “Are we seeing it? No. We’ve totally missed the fact that a spaceship the size of Delaware is hovering in midair.” ~ Book #3 pg. 52
- “Jake, I just told you I didn’t want to know.” ~ Book #3 pg. 79
- “Excuse me. But does anyone else ever stop to realize that some of the things we talk about doing are totally INSANE?” ~ Book #3 pg. 133
- “No, I haven’t had any weird dreams about the sea. I’ve had weird dreams about my sheets trying to strangle me. I’ve had weird dreams about falling from way up high and when I finally land I’m in Mister Roger’s Neighborhood talking to King Friday. I’ve had weird dreams about that woman of Baywatch...hmm, well, that does kind of involve the ocean, I guess.” ~ Book #4 pg. 14 (The rerelease changes "Mister Roger's Neighborhood" to "Sesame Street", "King Friday" to "Elmo", and "woman on Baywatch" to "woman who lifeguards at the beach".)
- “I was busy watching my taped reruns of Mister Roger’s Neighborhood. Last night it was the one where it was a beautiful day in the neighborhood.” ~ Book #4 pg. 18
- (Rerelease version: “I was busy watching reruns of Sesame Street. Last night it was the one where it was a sunny day, sweeping the clouds away.” ~ Marco, Book #4 pg. 18)
- “The fact that I once dreamed about staying home and watching TV in total safety, that means nothing, right?” ~ Book #4 pg. 27
- “How about my dream of living long enough to get a driver’s license?” ~ Book #4 pg. 28
- “It’s not bad enough we have to fight Hork-Bajir and Taxxons and Visser Three, we also have to fight sharks? Sharks?” ~ Book #4 pg. 82
- “Well, that was fun. Let’s never, ever do it again.” ~ Book #4 pg. 102
- “We made it. I don’t know where we made it to, but we made it.” ~ Book #4 pg. 107
- “I believe in minding my own business.” ~ Book #5 pg. 2
- “I swear that, if she could, Rachel would be wearing a suit of armor and swinging a sword. And it would be a fashionable suit of armor, and she would look great in it.” ~ Book #5 pg. 12
- “We’re mostly against the idea of getting killed.” ~ Book #5 pg. 21
- “Jake? Do me a favor. Don’t ever say ‘so far, so good.’ The only time anyone ever says ‘so far, so good’ is right before everything blows up in his face.” ~ Book #5 pg. 29
- “We can’t travel faster than light, but we can make a sticky bun that smells pretty good.” ~ Book #5 pg. 35 (36)
- “Oh, I have a very bad feeling about this.” ~ Book #5 pg. 36 (37)
- “Well, I’m guessing that in about two centuries or so, humans will discover zero space and make transponders. Whatever they are. But in the meantime, I’m going to have a sandwich.” ~ Book #5 pg. 61
- “Remember the good old days? When we used to argue over who had the best jump shot? Now it’s who has the best bird eyes.” ~ Book #5 pg. 105
- “As long as we’re alive, there’s hope.” ~ Book #5 pg. 119
- “I have a saying for you. I got it from a fortune cookie. ‘Fall down seven times, get up eight.’ You know what that means? That means you don’t ever just lie there. You always get up. You always come back for more. You never surrender. Maybe you die, but you never surrender.” ~ Book #5 pg. 137 (138)
- “It’s better to laugh than to cry, don’t you think?” ~ Book #5 pg. 149 (151)
- “Okay. We’re bugs. Let’s get this over with, because I have to tell you—I have a major urge to step on myself.” ~ Book #6 pg. 33
- “In through The Gap, out through the multiplex. Are these Yeerks on top of popular American culture, or what?” ~ Book #7 pg. 22
- “You know, Ax, they’re your minutes now, too. I mean, we are all here together on good old Earth where we only have one type of minute.” ~ Book #7 pg. 57 (58)
- “They’re everyone’s miles. You’re on Earth, Ax. We all have the same miles.” ~ Book #7 pg. 111 (112)
- Warning: Spoilers for rerelease beyond this point.
- “Ax? I don’t need a science lecture. Visser Three is looking at me like I’m his beef jerky, so if you have a plan, just do it!” ~ MM#1 pg. 181
- “We’re gonna die, you alien lunatic!” ~ MM#1 pg. 197
- “Let’s never, ever do that again.” ~ MM#1 pg. 199
- “Rachel, he looks like he’s going to the country club to play polo. I knew we shouldn’t let you pick the clothes. He’s like a bully magnet. Even I want to beat him up.” ~ Book #8 pg. 19
- “I’d love to tell you how it works, but it’s the very height of human technology, so it’s secret. Primitive races could get hold of Big Wheels, and then who knows what might happen?” ~ Book #8 pg. 64
- “Batman could beat Spiderman? You expect me to take that seriously? Are you insane? I thought I knew you, Jake, but you’re obviously an idiot. No offense. Spiderman would annihilate Batman.” ~ Book #9 pg. 20
- “Yikes! Everytime I see you, you’re taller. Stop it. Stop growing.” ~ Book #9 pg. 22
- “Let’s see, I’m behind in my homework. My dad thinks I’ve joined a gang because I’m never around. I don’t sleep much because every time I try I’m suddenly a termite again and I wake up screaming. I never get to just sit around and watch TV. And, in my spare time, I have to help figure out how we’re going to keep the Yeerks from turning some guy named Farrand into a Controller so they can wipe out the forest and hunt down the Bird-boy and the universe’s only almanac-reading Andalite. I mean, I knew the middle-school years would be tough, but this is a little much.” ~ Book #9 pg. 117
- “That’s the nature of school: It never really ends.” ~ Book #10 pg. 33
- “I have such a bad feeling about this.” ~ Book #10 pg. 149
- “Rachel, why is it whenever I hear you say ‘let’s do it’ my blood runs cold?” ~ Book #11 pg. 23
- “Oh, good. Another rushed, unplanned, last-minute mission. Those always turn out so well.” ~ Book #11 pg. 24
- “You think you know me. Unfortunately, you’re right.” ~ Book #11 pg. 29
- “Remember when we used to have normal, sane conversations? You know, we’d talk about baseball or who had a crush on who?” ~ Book #11 pg. 29
- “Rachel's DNA is actually ninety-nine percent identical to Malibu Barbie.” ~ Book #11 pg. 112
- “We’re all going to end up in the nuthouse someday. You realize that, right?” ~ Book #11 pg. 141
- “Is it just me, or is this truly insane?” ~ Book #11 pg. 150
- “In that Montana movie Brad Pitt’s lips filled the entire screen. In fact, I heard some people were crushed to death by Brad Pitt’s lips.” ~ Book #12 pg. 78
- “Hey. We’re in show biz! I always knew I’d make it. Maybe I didn’t exactly expect to make it as a llama...” ~ Book #12 pg. 126
- “That’s the plan. Whine the whole way.” ~ Book #13 pg. 113
- “What could be more relaxing than going on a hike with a couple of fugitive space goblins while being hunted by giant worms and probably Visser Three himself? And all the time knowing we’re following the plan of an all-powerful galactic pain-in-the-butt who gets us to do all his dirty work?” ~ Book #13 pg. 113
- “Excuse me, but I do not use ‘Studboy’ as my screen name. Give me some credit. I use BaldwinBoyFive. You know, the missing fifth Baldwin brother. The really cool-looking one.” ~ Book #14 pg. 21
- “You’re telling me the Most Secret Place On Earth, the fabled Zone Ninety-one, the Holy Grail of conspiracy nuts, is hiding the secret of an Andalite toilet?” ~ Book #14 pg. 128
- “You know, basically that was fun. If you set aside the whole could-have-been-crushed-by-a-log-boat thing.” ~ Book #14 pg. 147
- “Does anyone else ever think maybe we’ve all just lost our minds? You know, like maybe none of this is real and we’re escaped lunatics from the local hospital for the hopelessly wacko?” ~ Book #14 pg. 149
- “You don’t want to mess with animals when Cassie is around.” ~ Book #15 pg. 3
- “Forget music and art. Ax would trade a Cinnabon for the Mona Lisa, straight across.” ~ Book #15 pg. 7
- “We like to keep busy. It’s either rescue entire races or play Nintendo.” ~ Book #15 pg. 17
- “You can look at the world and say, ‘Oh, isn’t it all so tragic, so grim, so awful.’ Or you can look at the world and decide that it’s mostly funny.” ~ Book #15 pg. 22
- “If you step back far enough from the details, everything gets funny. You say war is tragic. I say, isn’t it crazy the way people will fight over nothing? People fight wars to control crappy little patches of empty desert, for crying out loud. It’s like fighting over an empty soda can. It’s not so much tragic as it is ridiculous. Asinine! Stupid!” ~ Book #15 pg. 22
- “If it was happening to someone else, it would be hysterical.” ~ Book #15 pg. 25
- “It turns out, as tough as sharks are, they still aren’t used to having screaming, flailing, panic-stricken human beings dropped on them from the sky.” ~ Book #15 pg. 87
- “You know, sometimes there’s just a very fine line between us and the Three Stooges.” ~ Book #15 pg. 128
- “Hey, it’s me. Please don’t remove my head. I use it sometimes.” ~ Book #15 pg. 135
- “You have to decide whether you think life is tragedy or comedy. I long ago decided to look for the joke in life.” ~ Book #25 pg. 163
- “Oooh. Don’t hurt me with the chakram of your wit, Xena.” ~ Book #16 pg. 41
- “So that's the nuthouse. I always suspected I’d end up here.” ~ Book #17 pg. 29
- “School, nuthouse, what’s the difference when you get right down to it? Dumb rules and bad food in both places.” ~ Book #17 pg. 30
- “Anytime Rachel says ‘let’s do it’ in that insane, suicidal, rock-and-roll way of hers, disaster can’t be far away.” ~ Book #17 pg. 40
- “It’s OAT-freaking-MEAL!” ~ Book #17 pg. 63
- “I have a question. If you already have a Hewlett Aldershot and a Hewlett Aldershot, Jr., what kind of parent is going to go and inflict that name on a third kid? He must have gotten beat up after school every single day of his life.” ~ Book #18 pg. 14
- “You know, they really are your hours now, too. This is Earth. You’re stuck here. Go ahead and set your watch to local time.” ~ Book #18 pg. 15
- “Free people who get together to defend freedom are never weak.” ~ Book #18 pg. 125
- “It was really raining. We were all soaked through and had wet sand caking our shoes. All except Rachel, who I swear has some magic ability to repel dirt, mud, and rainwater.” ~ MM#2 pg. 4
- “I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. We have got to do something about these funky morphing outfits. We are a disgrace to superheroes. Can you imagine us ever being in a comic book alongside Spider-Man? We’d look like the Clampetts.” ~ MM#2 pg. 5
- “You saved my life. Don’t undo it by killing me with algebra.” ~ MM#2 pg. 66
- “You know what occurs to me. We survived, right? I mean, twice we’ve been jumped by tyrannosaurs or tyrannosauri, whichever. I’m still here and I’m not Captain Heroic. And Jake is still here, despite the fact he’s a big, galumphing, clumsy oaf, and not even all that bright.” ~ MM#2 pg. 113
- “I’ve always said you make a choice in this world. You can see the world as being tragic, or you can see it as being funny. Some things just flat-out aren’t funny, of course. But with very few exceptions, you can usually find the humor in life and in people. I guess if you want to see the world as being sad, terrible, unfair, boo-hoo boo-hoo, that’s fine. But man, what kind of life is that?” ~ MM#2 pg. 114
- “Ha. Haha and also ha.” ~ MM#2 pg. 161
- “There are times when I realize my real life has gotten so insane that I can’t even be sure what is truly insane.” ~ Book #20 pg. 38
- “I’ve gone insane. Deedly deeedly deedly loopy! Nutso. Insane in the membrane.” ~ Book #21 pg. 7
- “Have I mentioned that this is insane?” ~ Book #21 pg. 101
- “Charge? I bet he’s always wanted to say that.” ~ Book #22 pg. 72
- “Just tell me this. When do we get a vacation? I mean, Ben-Hur rowing that Roman galley while the guy whipped him and the other guy banged on that big drum got more downtime than we do.” ~ Book #23 pg. 46
- “Hah. Hah. And also, hah.” ~ Book #23 pg. 126
- “That does it, the votes are in, the Oscar for Absolute Insanity goes to us. Everyone go home. We rule the lunatic world.” ~ Book #24 pg. 127
- “The Pemalites may have been the most advanced species ever to exist in the history of the universe. So advanced they forgot all about primitive stuff like wars and worry and sadness.” ~ Book #25 pg. 11
- “Okay. I’ll be there, but I promise to complain the entire time.” ~ Book #25 pg. 18
- “Ax, I really think you can just deal with the fact that they aren’t our minutes. They are everyone’s minutes.” ~ Book #25 pg. 28
- “You can’t be in a war and think about all the stuff that happens. You can’t keep all the fear and all the pain right there in the front part of your brain, you know? You go nuts like that.” ~ Book #25 pg. 144
- “Hah. Hah. And also...Hah.” ~ Book #28 pg. 76
- “What I have here is a makeup paper cubed. It’s a makeup paper for the makeup paper I was supposed to do for my first makeup paper.” ~ Book #28 pg. 76
- “Hey, no one is going to die on the way there. I’ll get us all there. Everyone will still be available to die when we get there.” ~ Book #28 pg. 105
- “On behalf of General Custer, let me welcome you to the last stand.” ~ Book #28 pg. 124
- “Every time we try to do something nice and normal it ends up turning out nasty and weird. Every single time.” ~ Book #29 pg. 7
- “I’m no brain surgeon. But it sounds to me like we’re talking brain surgery here.” ~ Book #29 pg. 32
- “If George had been a big enough idiot to want to stand up in the middle of all this, his men would have figured he was a lunatic and turned around and learned to enjoy crumpets.” ~ MM#3 pg. 96
- “Ax has no faith in our human ability to do simple things like count. With good reason.” ~ Book #30 pg. 41
- “They’re not my minutes, you alien nitwit, they’re everyone’s minutes!” ~ Book #30 pg. 136
- “No. No. The sun does not rise in the west, the Chicago Cubs don’t win the World Series, Scully never, ever believes Mulder, and Rachel does not cry. These are the things I know.” ~ Book #32 pg. 33
- “Interesting? It’s bizarre! It’s weird. It’s wacko, creepy, horrific, incredible, absurd, and totally, totally, I mean totally insane. But also, kind of cool.” ~ Book #32 pg. 46
- “This should be fun. If by ‘fun’ you mean terrifying and insane.” ~ Book #32 pg. 112
- “Hah. Hah. And also, a bonus, hah.” ~ Book #33 pg. 3
- “Don’t eat me! I’m serious: Do not eat me!” ~ Book #33 pg. 46
- “We are not exactly poster children for Mental Health week.” ~ Book #35 pg. 68
- “In a world where slugs can take over entire civilizations, anything is possible.” ~ Book #38 pg. 25
- “Ha-ha. And, free this month only, a bonus ha!” ~ Book #42 pg. 34
- “If I’m going to kick, I don’t want to go staring at the ceiling of my bedroom.” ~ Book #42 pg. 54
- “We’ll need a human morph that won’t give us away. It ain’t gonna be Ax. He attracts too many girls. And of course I can’t go. Same reason.” ~ Book #43 pg. 45
- “Ax-man. Cardboard isn’t one of the major food groups, remember?” ~ Book #44 pg. 139
- “When you’re dealing with the Animorphs, never say it can’t get any weirder. It always does.” ~ Book #45 pg. 46
- “Do you know how seriously annoying it is to quote someone’s words back at them?” ~ Book #46 pg. 14
- “Humans can’t even deal with other humans who root for a rival football team.” ~ Book #47 pg. 45
- “It wouldn’t be a party without the Earl of Evil.” ~ Book #47 pg. 111
- “No looking. There’s no telling what the sight of my naked torso might make you do. I’m lethal at the beach.” ~ Book #49 pg. 39
- “Adults are too reality-bound. It’s too hard for them to suspend disbelief. Even when the new reality hits them in the face.” ~ Book 50 pg. 43
- “Battling aliens every day of my life has fine-tuned my already rampant paranoia.” ~ Book #51 pg. 2
- “I’ll let you in on a little secret. Gunning down enemy troops in a video game does not actually prepare you to operate a real-life, sixty ton tank.” ~ Book #51 pg. 29
- “The saddest thing is that this is our greatest victory. And I’ve never felt more depressed in my entire life.” ~ Book #52 pg. 149
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All pictures and books copyrighted by Scholastic, Inc. Books by K.A. Applegate, and pictures by David B. Mattingly.